Monday, December 1, 2008

My first wish

Dear Peeps,

This blog is not going to just be just about how much I appreciate both of you – I really do – I love the caring way you look after each other – the way you stand up for one another in the playground, the little things you do for me and for each other to make our days run smoothly. However - I am sad that the two of you continue to bikker and niggle one another. I know you love each other and enjoy each others company and space. I really dislike it when you hurt each other and make each other cry just to get a reaction out of me.

It saddens me that the only person you play up for is me. Reports back from others who look after you are always glowing. I have tried to look at it from another point of view and be thankful that you are comfortable enough with me to show your true beings but sometimes that doesn’t help me through another day of constant bickering.

I feel at the end of my tether sometimes – and just want to let go – to cut it free! We have tried naughty corners and steps, reward charts and surprise baskets for good behaviour, time out and withdrawal of privileges, quiet words, counting down, withdrawal into anther room and a chat about behaviour , talking about responsibility and expectations and of course the good old – no sugar thing….. and still you bikker and poke one another, both egging one another on to scream or cry out.

I don’t like myself when I find the only thing that gets any attention is to shout at you and Goddess forbid that I ever actually have to carry out the threat I vowed I would never use on my kids – the wooden spoon. A brand new spoon has been bought and is placed in a prominent place in the kitchen. Lets hope we have a great week and not have to pick it up and wave it around.

You two have so many fantastic qualities, I hate myself for focusing on this and need to remind myself that you are only 3 and 5.

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